


listening for a knock, waiting for a sign

by neverlxnd



Series: yes there's more [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Cute, Fluff, Jealousy, Kaihun - Freeform, M/M, Post-High School, excuse the typos, its three in the morning, my heart and head hurt as i wrote this, sekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12058353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverlxnd/pseuds/neverlxnd
Summary: the same question nags at his mind while his heart pulls towards his first love~Sehun and Kai meet in dance class, but one of them have a history they refuse to tellOR OR OR ORsymptoms of love in sekai's perspective :D





	listening for a knock, waiting for a sign

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO MY LOVELY READERS. HERES SEKAI VERSION OF SYMPTOMS OF LOVE <3  
> title is from the same poem, symptoms of love

Sehun took a small sip of his drink, intensively listening to Lay talk while his eyes scanned the crowd in the colorful club. He turned back to Lay and nodded, agreeing with what he was saying.

"I still can't believe Suho knew you and didn't introduce us earlier, we all could've hung out sooner," Sehun said, voice overpowering the music.

Lay nodded agreeing, "I know. But to be fair, you were the one that stopped coming to dance class so I couldn't exactly talk to you as much."

He let out a chuckle, "for starters - you could've texted me anytime. Second of all, I got offered a position in a different studio so I couldn't stick around and be your little assistant anymore."

"Yeah well," Lay shrugged.

He watched his older brother friend lift the glass to his lips and swallow the alcohol. He began to think about how Suho and the times when he'd tell him about this boy he had a crush on. He'd tell him just how black his hair was, the dimple on his right cheek.

_"It's so cute, you have to see it!"_

He shook his head of the thought, Suho never told him the name but as soon as he bumped into him and Lay, he knew exactly who this boy was that his older hyung had a crush on. "Where'd Suho go, anyway?" He stretched his neck to overlook the crowd, trying to find the brown mop of hair and cheekbones. He slumped back against the couch when he failed to find the boy and resumed the conversation with Lay.

"Maybe he's chatting up the bartender," he suggested, a joking tone to his voice. He expected Lay to let out a laugh alongside him but when he turned to him, he was wearing an obvious frown. He placed his thumbs on the corners of Lay's mouth, squishing his face so that he mouth was turned up. The older's eyes didn't match the fake smile he had put on him, causing the both of them to let out a laugh. "You don't seem too happy to hear about Suho with another?" He wiggled his eyebrows at Lay, only resulting in the older rolling his eyes.

"Thanks for the observation," Lay mumbled, bringing the glass up to his lips.

He smacked Lay's shoulder, making the latter furrow his eyebrows. "Hyung, you've been friends with him longer than I have and you still haven't made a move?"

Lay rubbed his shoulder and glared at the younger, "you can't just hit me and then call me hyung. Bad honorifics, you little shit."

He felt a laugh escape his mouth, his face pinching together in a happy expression. When he opened his eyes Suho was sitting beside Lay, a bored expression on his face. He took notice of two filled glasses, he guessed one was for him and the other for Lay. He sheepishly grabbed the glass and took a sip. When the liquid hit his tongue he immediately cringed, coughing following quickly after.

"Whiskey? Are you trying to kill me, I'm still a baby."

He meant for it to be funny, and it was, only Suho was still sitting across from him with a glum expression and his chin in the palm of his hand. He turned to Lay to be met with the same questioning gaze.

"Suho," Lay spoke up, capturing the elder's attention. Suho's head snapped towards Lay's voice and his face softened.

"Huh?" Suho yelled.

Lay shook his head and inwardly sighed, "we were just saying thanks for the drinks."

"Well it's the least I could do. Inviting you out and then running into Sehun, who just so happens to be one of your best friends from your old high school dance team."

"Are you alright hyung?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Suho nodded and leaned back against the couch, "don't mind me."

He looked back to Lay like before, only this time they both had furrowed eyebrows. He shook his head and continued drinking his drink and his conversation with Lay, who kept sneaking glances at Suho. He knew Lay enjoyed catching up with him and talking, but he also wasn't dumb and saw the worry on the older's face towards Suho. Just as he decided he was going to try and include Suho into their conversations, he looked in front of him to see a tall boy standing in front of Suho. His eyes ran up the boy's arms, muscular lines sculpting every inch of skin. When he reached the face of said man, he immediately felt himself grow annoyed. How was he everywhere Sehun was? He hadn't known Lay was poking his side, trying to get his attention for however long he was staring at this person he used to call his friend. When he checked back into reality, he rolled his eyes at the next sentence that came out of the boy's mouth.

"I've never seen you check me out before."

He made eye contact with the boy just as he said that, the brown haired boy sending him a wink. He felt himself roll his eyes. Jongin was always so arrogant and self centered, and he didn't mean for it to come out but-

"What the hell are you doing here?

He inwardly widened his eyes, shocked that he actually said that. And apparently he wasn't the only one as he heard the scolding from Suho. He was still glaring at Jongin when he saw the boy place his hand on Suho, silencing him.

"It's okay, hyung," Jongin spoke and turned to face him. "I think the pickup line is actually 'what's a boy like you doing in a place like this?'"

He saw Jongin smirk and he rolled his eyes for the fourth time since his old friend-enemy showed up. "Jongin-" He was quickly cut off by his two older hyungs.

"You two know each other?"

He ignored the shocked faces from them and faced Jongin to continue glaring. "It's hard not to when he's been following me everywhere since we graduated high school last year."

Jongin let out a bitter laugh making his blood begin to boil. "I think it's the other way around, sweetheart."

If there was any moment from a movie that he felt more at that second, it would be Cady throwing herself over the table at Regina - because he really felt like tackling the tall, muscular, beautiful-

"Suho, take me home. Please, I can't stand being around him and his arrogant-"

"Alright, alright. Let's go."

The three slowly got out of their seats but stopped when Suho was pulled abruptly out of his seat by Jongin.

"Actually, I'm sure Suho would love to babysit but we're going to dance first."

And then his ride home was being pulled to the dance floor by his new sworn enemy. He stood up from his seat and cupped his hands around his mouth, "you're only a couple months older!" He shouted. He wasn't sure that the latter heard him but he sat down anyway, a pout forming on his lips. He turned to Lay and sighed, the older sighing with him and patting him on the back.

"They'll be done quick, don't worry."

He nodded at Lay's reassuring words, not really believing them. He watched Suho and Jongin's bodies rock together on the dance floor, sighing heavily once again. When he saw Jongin lean down to Suho's ear, he felt his heart clench. He quickly looked away and stared at his half full glass. He decided on downing on so that it'd be gone when they did leave. And it wasn't a bad idea to get more drunk and not have to think about Jongin and his past.

"What happened between you two?"

He looked up at Lay's words, raised eyebrows. He never expected anyone to ask him that question, mostly because whenever he complained to Suho about Jongin he wouldn't tell him his name or anything else for that matter. And Suho wouldn't question, for he Sehun well enough that he knew he wouldn't want to bring it up again. But here Lay was, asking him about his past with Jongin. Someone he used to call his friend, or a better term; his ex boyfriend.

"Sehun?"

At the sound of his voice, he shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Nothing, he just-" he paused on his words and sighed. There was no way that he could say it without getting angry. It's been almost a year but he still wasn't over it. Then again, he couldn't technically call him his ex, they barely dating. That's why whenever he was asked about Jongin, he would say his old friend. Or some jerk.

_"Hi."_

_Sehun followed where the voice was coming from, his eyes trailing from the ground to a pair of shoes to a torso wrapped in a tight black t-shirt, to a beautifully sculpted face. A beautifully sculpted face that was talking to him. He jumped up from his spot on the ground, previously tying his shoe. He hadn't tied his shoe still but that would have to come later, he thought._

_"Hey," he replied, sweeping a piece of hair out of his view._

_"I didn't know you danced," the boy spoke._

_Sehun cocked his head to the side, he's never seen this boy before. He's sure of it, he would've remembered such a glorious face. "I'm sorry, I don't know your name."_

_The boy chuckled and shyly looked to the floor. And if that wasn't the cutest thing he's seen all day, then he doesn't know what is. "Kim Jongin, I just transferred here."_

_"Ah," he nodded. He let out a breath of air, he knew there was no way a face that pretty would be forgotten. "I'm Oh Sehun, where'd you transfer from?"_

_They continued to make small talk, awkward silence occasionally filling the dance room. Speaking of which, Sehun looked around the studio, curious as to where their instructor was._

_"Why'd you join the dance team?" He asked, to pass time._

_"Why else? To dance," Jongin replied, causing a blush to spread on his face._

_Just as Sehun felt the heat in his cheeks come down, their dance teacher came in. He began talking, capturing the student's close attention. They were beginning to go over the steps for new choreography when he forgot to tie his shoe. He looked down and sighed at the two white laces still untied. Just as he leaned down to tie his shoe, a pair of legs was turning into him and then there was a body on top of his own. He groaned and felt pain rise in his shoulder. But the pain was replaced with embarrassment as soon as he opened his eyes to see Jongin groaning and clenching his eyes shut. Shit, he thought. Jongin's eyes peeled open and as quickly as they opened they were locked with Sehuns'. Their was a lack of air in the two boy's lungs, not due to their tumble, but because of their intense stares. Sehun liked the way Jongin's eyes were widened, almost puppy-like, and Jongin liked the way Sehun's eyebrows were furrowed down into a confused line._

_"Are you alright?"_

_They broke eye contact at the sound of their instructor, followed by his hands helping the two up. He dusted himself off, slightly wincing at his tailbone._

_"I think you two should rest and just watch, yeah? Tae went to grab the ice packs."_

_The two boys nodded, momentarily catching each other's eyes again. They were walked towards the chairs at the back of the studio, hesitantly sitting down. When Taemin came back with the two cold packs, Jongin quickly reached for his and applied it to his rib while Sehun shamefully placed the cold block on his shoulder. He kept thinking about Jongin and how amazing it was that he managed to mess up a friendship that quickly before it could even sprout. He was running thoughts through his mind about his guilt until he felt a finger poking his side. Jongin was watching him attentively, a small smile on his face._

_"Sorry, I didn't mean to topple you," Jongin said with a chuckle._

_He quickly shook his head, "no no, it was my fault. I was trying to tie my shoe and I should've moved to the side," he explained._

_Jongin stared at him with bright eyes, that previous small smile he had been wearing was now a big smile, taking up half his face._

_"What?" He asked, feeling his own smile poking at the corners of his mouth._

_The latter shook his head, still smiling. "Nothing. You're adorable."_

_He blushed intensely, hoping that he wouldn't notice. But fortunately for Jongin, he did notice. Which only caused the boy's smile to widen, if possible._

_"Thanks, I guess." Sehun replied sheepishly._

_They fell into a comfortable silence, occasionally removing the ice pack before returning it to their injuries. They continued to watch their dance teacher run through the choreography to the dance team, their arms following the movements while sitting. At the end of the practice, everyone grabbed their bags, Sehun and Jongin following. He was about to leave the studio, sending a quick nod to the instructor, but a voice stopped him._

_"Sehun, wait."_

_He turned around the see Jongin walking over, gym bag hanging over his shoulder. He waited until he was standing next to him to answer. "What's up?" Jongin didn't answer, he only leaned down to the floor, stopping when he reached his shoes. Then he realized what Jongin was doing._

_"You still didn't tie your shoe. Can't have you falling again, lanky legs and all."_

_He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks again, turning his head away so the latter wouldn't see. "Thanks."_

_Jongin jumped back onto his feet, "I have math but here's my number. Hopefully next time we meet we'll have some food or something instead of ice packs." He handed Sehun a small piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it._

_He smiled at the floor, suddenly feeling shy. He looked back to Jongin and nodded, "sounds good."_

_After that day in dance class, they spent almost every lunch together. Tuesdays being an exception because Jongin had tutoring._

_"How do you already have a tutor, it's only the middle of the first semester!" He exclaimed, throwing a piece of his sandwich at Jongin._

_"It's not my fault my brain can't hold those math formulas," Jongin chuckled._

_It wasn't until the halfway mark of the semester that Sehun began to realize his feelings for his new found friend. He was too scared to admit it to him at first, scared he wasn't going to feel the same. But when he told Jongin about his feelings, he was surprised to find out he liked him back. And for once without dance, he actually felt happy at high school._ _But one strange day at dance practice changed that. Sehun was running over the choreography with Jongin when he suspiciously looked around the room to see two girls in the corner, whispering to each other. He rolled his eyes and continued to go over the moves. He knew what they said about Jongin, made up rumors about why he transferred schools. Sure, he didn't know himself (Jongin always tensing up at the question) but he trusted his boyfriend. (They decided that morning to make it official.)_

_"I just feel bad for Sehun," he heard one of the girls whisper. He tried to ignore it and tune them out, but he was interrupted when Jongin had his hand on his waist._

_"What's wrong?"_

_He shook his head, "nothing. What's next?"_

_Jongin hesitantly showed him the move, quickly refreshing his memory. But the whispers got louder in his ear, frustrating him further and messing up the dance. Jongin sighed and pulled him to the side, away from everyone else._

_"Okay seriously, what's wrong? Is something bothering you?"_

_He sighed and shook his head, rubbing his hands down his sweatpants._

_"Then what? Did you sprain your ankle? Do you need an ice pack?"_

_"Why did you transfer schools?" He asked, still staring at the floor. He didn't need to look up to know what Jongin looked like, a lost or confused look on his face while beginning to build that barrier in front of Sehun. And true to his word, he looked up to Jongin staring somewhere else, all while a step back further than how close he previously was. "Why do you do that? It can't be that bad."_

_Jongin sighed, "why does it matter? That's in the past, we're here now."_

_"If it's in the past why can't you just tell me and let it be over and done with?"_

_"Just leave it," Jongin whispered harshly._

_He stared at Jongin in surprise. He's never been yelled at by him since they became friends, or ever had Jongin angry at him. But this was paining him to know and he just wanted the whispers to stop. What would be so bad about Jongin that made other people feel bad for Sehun?_

_"No," he shot back. "Ever since I met you, you've been dodging the question-"_

_"Hey Jonginnie."_

_Sehun didn't have to look to know who that voice belonged to, so he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes._

_"Jimin, hey."_

_"Did I interrupt something?"_

_"Yes."_

_"No."_

_Jongin sent Sehun a stern look, to which he ignored._

_"O-kay," Jimin spoke, "sorry. I'll be at the fountain near the math room after practice."_

_When Jimin was out of ear distance, Sehun sighed, "what was that about?"_

_"We're meeting up for lunch."_

_"But you have tutoring."_

_"Tutor couldn't make it today," Jongin shrugged, still tense._

_The two girls who were in the opposite corner were now passing by, skeptically eyeing him and Jongin. He didn't take notice of them until he heard one of them whispering a little too loud this time._

_"Jongin and Jimin, who knew?"_

_"I did. He was with Jimin last week."_

_Sehun turned back to Jongin, who he knew heard the 'whisper'. He let out a sigh, "how many times has your tutor not been able to make it?"_

_"Sehun-"_

_"Are you with Jimin?"_

_Jongin snapped his head towards his direction, immediately wearing a frown. "No, Sehun. That was just-"_

_"You know, I don't think I can handle this."_

_Jongin's frown deepened and his eyebrows were raised. "What?"_

_"I don't think I can trust you. And that's what you need for a relationship to work-"_

_"Are you breaking up with me?"_

_The next couple second were filled with tense silence until he couldn't take it and went to grab his bag. He pretended not to feel the stab to his heart when Jongin didn't try to stop him, or at least call out his name. He felt a lump form in his throat and he repeated to himself to wait until he got to a bathroom to cry. He felt so stupid for not listening to the people talking, for not knowing better than to date someone who couldn't even answer a simple question he'd been asking since they started talking._

Sehun remembered the next day not seeing Jongin at dance practice. He heard from eavesdropping a conversation between Taemin and Jimin that he quit the dance team. He pretended not to be hurt by that, telling himself that he was the one who broke up with Jongin. Sehun remembers avoiding eye contact with Jongin in the halls to not seeing him at all in the halls altogether. It was like that until their graduation come along. He thinks back to seeing Jongin sitting with Jimin and Taemin, while he sat by himself surrounded by his fellow classmates that he wasn't really friends with. He remembers feeling his heart clench, watching Jongin walk onto the stage to receive his diploma and hearing Jimin and Tae shout and whoop for him; wishing he could be right beside them cheering. But he broke up with Jongin. For a good reason too, he thought. He never did find out why Jongin switched schools.

"Sehuuuun," Lay dragged out.

"Oh, right," he mumbled. "We were friends in high school but I don't know. Didn't work out." He didn't want to tell Lay that his ex that he dated for three hours, but felt like he was dating since that first day in dance practice.

"Wow, what'd he do?"

Sehun tensed, "doesn't matter. He quit the dance team anyway, that's probably why you never met him."

Lay nodded, "true. I just started assisting when you got into your last year."

"And now we're here," he replied bluntly, making Lay laugh.

Their laughter was cut short when they laid their eyes back on Suho and Jongin, who were closer than before. Suho had his lips placed on Jongin's neck, pressing kisses achingly slow. He ripped his eyes away and glared at his glass. He felt his heart fall into his stomach, while his heartbeat began to pound in his eardrums. He stood up from his seat and felt the tears coming.

"I have to go, I can't be here, I wanna go home."

"Sehun wait."

He stopped his movements at his hyung's voice, waiting for Lay to continue.

"Let me get you a cab."

He nodded and waited for Lay to get up, as soon as he did they walked towards the exit, trying his best to ignore the two dancing. Suddenly Lay stopped in his tracks, bumping into his chest. He went to ask why he stopped but when he looked up at Lay he was staring at something else. He followed his vision line to see what made Lay suddenly so worked up. Just as soon as he looked, he wished he didn't because there Suho was; pressed lips against Jongin's. He suddenly forgot how to breath and he's sure he would've fell to the floor right then and there if Lay hadn't laced their fingers together and pulled him out of the club. The wind felt like knives whipping across his cheeks as they stepped out, but that was the least of his worries right now. He could feel the tears coming out now and did nothing to stop them this time. Lay whistled before a cab appeared and he was being pulled into the car. It was when he had his face pressed against the elder's chest that he let the noise out, full on sobbing.

"Shh, it's alright. Hyung's got you," Lay murmured, patting his hair. He mumbled an unfamiliar address to the cab driver which caused him to look up at Lay through his wet lashes. "We're going back to my place, I'm not letting you sleep by yourself tonight."

He only replied with a sniffle and snuggled back into the older's chest. If there was one thing he was glad to have right now, it would be Lay. They haven't talked for awhile since he started teaching his own dance class at the studio, but it felt natural to be this close with his friend once again. He stayed in his arms the whole car ride until he felt it abruptly stop, signalling for him to get up. He wiped his eyes and got out of the cab, he leaned against the door and waited for Lay while he payed. When he finished paying the driver Lay grabbed his hand once again and led him inside the house, quickly removing their shoes.

"Go upstairs and turn left down the hall and my bedroom is at the end. Help yourself to whatever pajamas, I'll get you some water."

He nodded and listened to Lay, heading up the stairs and following the directions he was given. When he opened the door, he flicked the light on and took in the view of his bedroom. The walls were light blue, bare. He walked over to his closet and looked through his clothes before settling on a simple white shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Quickly changing, he went into the bathroom and immediately cringed at the sight of himself in the mirror. His eyes were red, along with his nose while his cheeks were flushed from crying. He sighed and flicked the light off, going back into the bedroom. Lay was sitting on the bed, a glass of water on the bedside table and a piece of bread. He snorted at the single piece of bread, which got the attention of Lay.

"Hey," he murmured, walking towards the bed to lay down. Lay clicked his phone shut and layed down, welcoming Sehun into a warm embrace. He was pulled under the blankets, still wrapped in Lay's arms. "Why the piece of bread?" He asked, causing Lay to snicker.

"I read that it helps sober you."

He nodded, letting out a small chuckle. He felt sleep hanging over his head when they heard the front door opening, followed by steps. He listened closely, slowly realizing there was more than one person belonging to those steps. He felt his chest get heavy again, and then he was crying into Lay's chest again.

"He was my boyfriend in high school," he confessed, "he was my best friend and he cheated on me." His words sounded broken between the quiet sobs passing through his lips and shaking his body. He felt Lay tense up as soon as the words left his mouth, but he felt him relax and continue to lull him.

"It's alright, go to sleep. We'll deal with it tomorrow."

He listened to his hyung and before he knew it, his sobs turned to quiet sniffles, then to slow breaths until sleep overthrew his body and mind.

 

The sound of dishes rustling woke him up, rolling onto his stomach to hug the pillow closer to his head. When he inhaled the scent of lilacs and laundry soap coming from the pillow, he shot up in the bed. His eyes opened to a dimly lit room, light streaming in through the blinds. He then remembered where he was and the memories from the night before followed after. He groaned and threw himself back onto the bed, covering his eyes with his forearm. The sound of the door opening swiftly made him remove his arm and lift his head up. It was Lay, who didn't look too happy.

"Hey."

Lay looked startled and quickly replaced his angry expression with a softer one. "Hey, morning sunshine."

"What's wrong?" He asked, ignoring his sudden mood change.

"Nothing," Lay sighed, coming to sit next to him on the bed.

"You were glaring at the floor when you came in and you're smiling like a maniac now, clearly something happened," he mentioned.

Lay shook his head, "it's nothing. I just went to get water and Advil for Suho."

At the mention of Suho, he removed the blankets from his body and went to stand up. "Oh, is he awake? I should go apologize for leaving." He was about to go to the door when Lay's fingers were wrapped around his wrist, stopping him.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

He was about to ask why, when realization hit him. The footsteps they heard last night only reminded him of the image he had in his mind all night. "They're in there together, aren't they?" He asked. He was almost scared to ask it, but he ignored his need and listened to the want instead. Lay didn't respond, which was enough confirmation for him. He sat back down on the bed and sighed. They sat in silence until Lay stood up from the bed.

"Come on, I'll make breakfast."

He followed Lay out of the bedroom and down to the kitchen, glancing at the clock on the wall reading '10:00am'. Shit, he had a shift at the studio today. Lay must've noticed his worry because he spoke up and ended his worry.

"I called in sick for you, your alarm went off this morning."

He really didn't deserve Lay in his life, he was such a good brother to him.

"Thank you," he said, sincerely.

"Don't worry about it."

He leaned against the counter and watched Lay move around the kitchen, beginning to cook breakfast.

"You need any help?" He asked.

Lay shook his head but quickly opened his mouth to say something. His motive to talk ended because the two boy's attention was on the squeak coming from the living room. Their heads snapped towards the staircase, seeing an embarrassed Jongin standing on the end of the stairs. He immediately looked away, feeling the sadness return. Lay threw him a worried glance, but he reassured him with a small smile. The tan boy came into the kitchen, shy as he felt like an outsider.

"Um, hey," he softly said.

He knew Lay was just as upset with Jongin as he was, but he wasn't the type to ignore anyone even if he was extremely upset.

"Morning," Lay said, continuing to cook.

Jongin nodded awkwardly, letting out a sigh. "Do you need any help?"

He inwardly rolled his eyes and straightened against the counter.

"No, I got it," Lay mumbled. "Are you staying for breakfast?"

Jongin looked hesitant, but slowly nodded. Sehun wanted to tell him no, he wanted to tell him to get out. But this wasn't his kitchen and this wasn't his house.

"Sehun-ah, could you run to the store. We need more sausages."

He quickly nodded, uncrossing his arms and walking to the front door.

"I'll come with you," Jongin mumbled.

He didn't feel like putting up a fight this time, so he only continued walking towards the front door, Jongin following. He sighed as he put on his shoes and one of Lay's sweaters hanging by the door. He swung open the door and created a fast stride, not caring if Jongin was following or not. But there was a small sliver of hope in his heart that hoped he was.

"Sehun, slow down."

His insides twisted and grew warm at the sound of Jongin saying his name. He didn't slow down, however. The walk to the corner store was short and quiet, the sound of their footsteps only being heard. They were by the frozen foods when Jongin tried striking up a conversation again.

"Sehun-ah."

"Can you not call me that, you're only four months older than me."

"Well it's that or dongsaeng," he joked, but he quickly went serious once again. "Unless we're friends, then honorifics don't matter."

Sehun ran his hand through his silver hair, sighing before grabbing a pack of sausages and throwing them in the basket. He walked down the aisle and went to make a move towards the cashier when he groaned. He felt around Lay's sweater for the wallet, change, any kind of money. Nothing.

"What is it?" Jongin asked, quickly appearing at his side.

The question quickly reminded him of the situation a year and a half ago in the dance room. He shook his head, "nothing. I just forgot Lay's wallet." Before he could object, he was being pulled down the snacks aisle. He wanted to object and go back to Lay and Suho's but he missed the feeling of Jongin. "What are you doing?"

Jongin only responded by tapping his chin and looking at the options on the shelf, "nothing." He grabbed a box of crackers and tossed them in the basket, following a bag of chips. "They're running low on snacks."

"When did you look in their cupboard?" He asked.

"Last night, at ass crack in the morning. I was hungry but there was nothing to snack on," Jongin explained, tossing more snacks in the basket. "And I miss you. I wanted to talk to you alone."

He bit his lip to hold back the smile forming. But he composed himself so he was stone faced again, "well I don't know how you're going to pay for this when I told you-" He was silenced by Jongin holding his wallet in front of Sehun's face.

"I got it."

He rolled his eyes and put the basket in Jongin's arms, making a move to leave the store.

"Sehun."

He felt Jongin's fingers wrap around his wrist and then he was face to face with his old friend. A year and a couple months had passed and nothing had changed with the way Jongin's face was. His eyes were still brown as ever, still wide and puppy-like. His lips were still plump and hued pink, and his skin was still that beautiful tan color. He let out a shaky breath and took a step back.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just. Didn't you hear me? I miss you. I wanted to talk."

He crossed his arms, "okay."

"An 'I missed you too' would be nice."

He stayed silent and tried to ignore the hurt expression on Jongin's face when he didn't return the sentence. "Can we go now?"

Jongin nodded and carried the basket to the front desk. He walked out of the store and leaned against the wall of the corner store, waiting for Jongin. When the boy came out, he grabbed one of the plastic bags from his hand and immediately started moving his feet at a quick pace.

"Why'd you wait for me if you're just going to ditch me?" He heard Jongin mumble.

He slowed his pace and waited until Jongin was at his side. "Happy?"

"Why didn't you text me that night if you're so mad?"

At the sentence, Sehun thought back to their graduation day. He remembers smiling with a couple of the dance team members, talking about their end of the year showcase when Jongin came up to him, grad cap and gown with a flower in his hand.

_Jongin passed a flower to him, "it's a sweet pea flower, your birth month flower."_

_He stayed still, holding the flower in between his fingers._

_"And I wanted to apologize. I really miss you and I know I messed up, but if you're willing to let me try again I'll be waiting. Just text me and I'll be there."_

_And with that, he left Sehun with a flower in his hand and tears stinging his eyes._

That day was so clear to him now, almost like he was living it. He remembers holding his phone nervously in his hand in his bedroom later that night. He remembers sending out a text, hope entering his chest at the thought of him and Jongin being together again. But it was all gone and whisked away when he never got a text back. Not even an explanation.

"What?"

"Graduation day. I told you-"

"No, I remember what you told me. It just doesn't make sense for _you_ to be asking _me_ that question." He swiftly turned around, returning to his fast pace. They were almost back to the house now, shoes scuffing against the cement.

"Sehun!" Jongin yelled. The boy caught up to him and stopped him from going inside. "Can you talk to me?"

"Like how you talked out things before?" He sneered.

Jongin furrowed his eyebrows, "what's your problem?  _You_ broke up with  _me. You_ were the one who didn't send me a text."

"I did send you the text! I waited for days for your response - and nothing!" He shouted.

Jongin took a step back, "no you didn't."

He rolled his eyes and walked up the steps to the house and walked in. When he entered the kitchen, Suho was standing by the sink, arms crossed. Lay was still cooking, that is until he looked up to meet eye contact with him. He gave him a small smile and walked over to the counter, placing the bag on top. Jongin followed in, placing the rest beside the one he set down.

"What did you guys get? We just needed one more package of sausages," Lay mumbled, grabbing the sausages and immediately placing them on the pan.

He shrugged, "just snacks I guess, your guy's cupboards were looking a bit empty.

"You didn't have to do that," Lay smiled.

"Oh I didn't," he started, "Jongin did," he finished in a monotone voice.

Lay's smile faltered and he sent a nod, mumbling a thanks. He cringed at the silence, occasionally hearing the sizzle of the grease from the frying pan.

"Could you get the plates ready Sehunnie?" Lay asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

He nodded and pushed off the counter, walking towards the cupboard. He eyed Suho sheepishly, feeling awkward. He opened the cupboard and grabbed four plates, before walking over to the table and setting them down onto the table. He saw Jongin reach for the drawer, but he stopped him. "I got it." Jongin backed off, letting out a frustrated sigh. When he finished putting the forks down, he returned to the kitchen and took his place beside Lay, resting his hand on his back. "What did you even make?" He asked Lay. The older replied, nodding along to the food he listed. He heard the two boys behind them leave into the kitchen. As soon as they left the kitchen, Lay let out a sigh.

"For fuck's sake. What are we gonna do?" Lay asked, turning the stove off.

He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms, watching Lay move the food from the pan onto a big platter. "I don't know. How am I supposed to talk to Suho now?"

"I feel you," Lay mumbled, rinsing the pan. "I guess we're all just going to have to talk this out and see what happens."

He nodded and followed Lay into the dining room. He sat down beside Lay, across from Jongin. The older prepared everyone's plates in silence. He hesitantly began eating, suddenly feeling small. He decided that if they were going to talk this out, he might as well try and be comfortable.

"Well, how was everyone's sleep?" He asked, cutting the tension like a knife. He didn't realize that was probably not a good question to ask when he knows what happened last night.

Lay sent him a nod, alongside a smile. Jongin repeated the action, minus the thumbs up. Suho stayed silent, stabbing a piece of sausage.

"Great, I mean, Jongin's my new cuddle buddy. We were so tired though," Suho suddenly said.

His heart strings tugged painfully at the thought of Jongin and him cuddling. Something that he and Jongin used to do, even before making it official.

"Oh! Where are my manners. What about you guys? I'm sure you guys had a great sleep, or not I don't know," Suho's voice held sarcasm.

He looked up from his plate to Suho, who was looking at Lay. So somehow that question didn't seem to be directed towards himself.

Lay only shrugged, "sure. I mean we didn't really sleep much."

He nodded, agreeing with Lay's words. He kept waking up last night just so could cry more, which would result in Lay waking up as well and rocking them both back to sleep; only for the cycle to repeat.

"Oh yeah, us too. Jongin's just too loud-"

There was a bang under the table followed by another one, Suho sending a glare to Jongin. He rolled his eyes and felt the heaviness returning to his chest.

"You know what, I'm going to leave, I should be getting home anyway," he said, getting up from the table. He excused himself and walked to the front door, he was still wearing Lay's sweater but he didn't care. He could always return it to him at the studio.

"Sehun wait."

He ignored the voice he knew all too well and continued walking towards the door. When his hand wrapped around the doorknob, he was pulled back.

"Can we talk this out?" Jongin asked, frustrated.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"There's everything to talk about," he replied.

"Look-"

"Let's get out of here," Jongin mumbled, "I can't think straight in this stuffy house."

"I can't imagine why."

Jongin ignored the snarky remark and pulled him out the door. His hand tingled with every step they took, he saddened him to do it but he ripped his hand away. Jongin turned around, making sure he was still following. They finally stopped walking when they got to a park. There was a couple of kids with their parents, but besides that it was empty. Jongin sat down on a bench, waiting for him to sit down. He only crossed his arms and stayed standing, to which made the tan boy sigh.

"I never got a text."

He scoffed, "I sent the text. I can pull it up right now."

"You still have it?"

He blushed at Jongin's words, quickly covering it by turning his head. He only nodded, reaching into his phone. He unlocked his phone and went straight to his messages, scrolling until it landed on the number without a name. The phone was handed to Jongin, who gingerly took it in his hands, eyes scanning the screen.

"You sent this the night of graduation?" Jongin asked, still looking over the screen.

He nodded, arms still crossed.

"Oh shit," Jongin suddenly mumbled. He eyed him skeptically. "I forgot I changed my number. I had to change it after," he paused. "Well, after we broke up. I kept getting texts from random numbers and they weren't entirely friendly."

He held back the laughter from escaping because that was such a Jongin thing to do. But he quickly shook his head and ran over the sentence again.

"What kind of texts?"

Jongin sighed, "just. I don't know. Ones calling me names, threatening me."

His heart squeezed at the thought of Jongin being bullied because of him. If he hadn't broken up with him, maybe he wouldn't have gotten those kind of texts. But then again, he had a good reason to break up with him.

"Okay," he spoke slowly, "that's one explanation out of four." He sat down beside Jongin, keeping his distance.

"Four?'

He nodded, "Jimin."

He expected Jongin to tense up and become silent at the mention of Jimin. But he didn't. He sighed and sat closer to Sehun. "Jimin was just a friend."

"Friends with benefits? You guys seemed to meet up regularly."

Jongin let out another sigh, "no. Wait. Did you tell people I cheated on you? Is that why I got those texts?"

He backed away from Jongin in disbelief, "no." He scoffed, "I'm a little hurt you would even think I'd do something like that."

"I'm sorry, but all of this. Just doesn't make sense and I just want you."

"Where'd you go on Tuesdays?"

"Tutoring-"

"Clearly you weren't if people were talking about you meeting up with him for weeks."

"See that's your problem," Jongin exclaimed. "You believed the rumors and never trusted me."

"I did trust you until I saw you and Jimin being a little too friendly, and hearing from someone other than my own thoughts that they saw you with him more than once only proved my suspicions. I never believed any rumor I heard about you, I always ignored the stares and whispers, until you started lied to me about where you were on Tuesdays."

"I was at tutoring," Jongin started. "It's just the last couple Tuesdays before, Jimin needed my help with something."

"What did he need help with?"

"It doesn't matter now."

He let out an exasperated sigh.

"Can you just trust me and believe me when I say that I never cheated on you? Pushing everyone's thoughts and accusations aside and focusing on me and you - trust  _my_ words."

Jongin hesitantly reached for his hand, his warm fingers slipped into his palm before wrapping them around his hand. He wanted to cry and tell him to stop, but he missed the feeling of Jongin's hand in his own, so he wrapped his fingers around Jongin's. Warmth spread throughout his chest, his heart strings tugging.

"That's two out of four," he mumbled.

"What else do you want to know?"

"You and Suho."

"Nothing happened," Jongin quickly said. "I didn't want to sleep alone after seeing how upset you were last night so I slept over. That, and Suho was so upset about you and Lay," he paused. "Which by the way, do I get an explanation for that?"

He nodded, locking eyes with Jongin. He fell into the deep brown color of his and felt his face soften. "We just slept. He was there for me because I was," he stopped himself, a little embarrassed. But Jongin was waiting for him to continue, puppy dog eyes staring him down. "Because I was crying all night."

Jongin nodded, letting out a chuckle. "This is so fucked up."

He agreed, nodding his head alongside Jongin, "three out of four." He mumbled, staring up at the grey sky. He felt Jongin squeeze his hand before continuing. "Why'd you transfer?"

Like many times before, Jongin went tense. He was expecting the barrier to form but it seemed different this time. It felt different because instead of distancing himself from Sehun, he moved closer and took a deep breath.

"I transferred because of a boy."

He sucked in a breath, scared to finally know why. Why Jongin always tensed up when he asked. Why he always brushed it off, claiming it was nothing.

"He was a senior and I just started my year as a sophomore."

He could already sense where this was going, but he let Jongin continue. Not before giving him a reassuring squeeze to their intertwined hands.

"He was my first boyfriend and I thought I was in love, but it was just a game to him. Like I was just a body to him."

Sehun stopped him from continuing, not wanting to hear the next thing about this sick senior he used to date. He looked to the ground, starting to feel guilty. He should've just listened to Jongin and trusted him when he said it was nothing. It wasn't nothing, but he felt bad for scolding Jongin for not wanting to talk about his horrible ex. So he pulled the tan boy inside his chest and wrapped his arms around his neck. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he felt Jongin immediately return the hug, closing him in tighter.

"I'm sorry. I should've listened."

"It's okay. I'd be the same way, I should've just told you."

He repeatedly shook his head, disagreeing. "No, I should've listened to my own words about a relationship needing trust." He pulled away from Jongin to look at his face. The tan boy was smiling, hands still around his own waist. "I missed you too," he said, finally returning the sentence from earlier.

Jongin smiled wide and bright for the first time since last night at the club. He felt Jongin's hands tighten around his waist before he noticed he was getting closer. The distance between their faces closed, as their noses brushed against each other. Jongin's quiet breaths were fanning over his lips and then he was closing his eyes. The string of affection he felt for the latter was brought to his attention when their lips finally met (not that it ever left). He immediately opened his mouth to Jongin, welcoming his lips and tongue. His heart burst and his body was sure to be covered in goosebumps. Jongin's lips gave him a taste of sweetness and berries while his tongue moved around the inside of his mouth. He moved his hand from Jongin's shoulder to rest it on his cheek, pulling him in closer. His traced Jongin's plump lips with his tongue, feeling dizzy and out of breath. Remembering they were in a park with children, he went to move away but then Jongin's hand was weaving into his hair and he suddenly didn't care about the parent's judgmental looks.

Jongin pulled back and leaned his head against his own. "I waited so long to do that."

He felt laughter bubble up in his throat before he let it out, making Jongin laugh as well. That was their first kiss with each other. They always did things like cuddle and hand-holding when they were friends, but since they broke up the day they made it official, they never got to kiss. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about their kiss that never happened over the months after graduation. It lived up to its' name, if not it was better.

"Wait," he started, Jongin raising an eyebrow. "Were you actually following me since graduation?"

Jongin chuckled and shook his head, "no. I thought you were following me."

The couple sat together on the bench, laughing at each other's stupidity. He leaned his head down onto Jongin's shoulder and smiled when he felt him press a kiss to his hair.

"I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you," Jongin mumbled against Sehun's hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

They sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying the returned affection and embrace. Suddenly he was being pulled to his feet by Jongin, who was wearing a smile.

"What?" He asked, smiling back.

"Let's go to my house. I have a warm bed and clothes to be worn by my boyfriend."

His stomach swooped at the word and he nodded, slipping his fingers back into Jongin's hand. Jongin began to lead them down the sidewalk, the couple snuggled up to each other.

"I still have that flower, by the way."

He saw pink spread across Jongin's cheeks, "shouldn't it be dead now?"

"Oh it's dead as a rock, but I didn't want to throw it out so I wrapped it in tissue and put it in my drawer," he admitted, shamelessly.

"I'm glad."

"And when the hell did you get so buff?"

Jongin snorted and shook his head, pulling his boyfriend alongside him. It felt normal for the two to be together again. Picking up where they left things on that sad day in the dance room. He thinks back to his flower sitting in the drawer in his bedroom. In a way, Jongin was his flower. During these past couple months, he only thought of Jongin as a part of his past, something that died and couldn't be revived; like the flower. But how they were now, in each other's arms again was the same as that flower being held together in the soft tissue. He's almost sure he's never going to throw away the flower, even if it creates bugs, because he believes it represents them so perfectly.

**Author's Note:**

> c': i feel like i rushed the ending because it's like two in the morning and im dead tired and i have uni tomorrow. anyways. tysm for reading<3  
> look forward to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol (but not too much)  
> pls leave kudos, comments and suggestions it would melt my heart :')


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